While I feel so blessed to have had such a lovely day, I found myself choking back the tears as I remembered my last zoo experience. In Uganda. With Leticia.
I really am trying to avoid being whiny while still maintaining honesty when sharing about our adoption. I understand that we are blessed beyond belief and our gratitude list is darn near infinite. I do get that. Can I just be real right now? This wait is killing me. There are times that I can almost see her with me. The grocery store, for example, although I have no idea why. As I push the cart, I can clearly visualize Leticia sitting in cart kicking her legs and pointing to things on the shelf as she signs "sweet!"
Or today at the zoo. What fun she would have had. As much as we enjoyed the time together, her absence was palpable. At least it was for me.
People ask what is going on. What we have heard from our lawyers? The answer, unfortunately, is nothing. And this limbo is for the birds. I know she's in very good hands in Uganda, but I worry what she thinks and how she feels. This legal mess doesn't make sense to me, how is she supposed to understand it? Is she healthy? Does she know we love her and are fighting for her? We can pass the message on through others, but I'm sure in her heart she wonders. If we care so much, then where are we?
On the bright side, we know that God is in this. A dear friend of mine is also playing this dubious adoption waiting game. We have decided to ask friends to take time to pray and fast for our situations this week. Thank you for participating. If you haven't been praying, there's no time like the present! Prayer changes things. Please keep them coming.
I trust that one day soon Leticia will be home and we may even understand and see the value in the wait. Until then, I have to agree with Stephen and Daniel's sentiments as they darted off for the exhibit they'd been eagerly anticipating. "Let's run to Africa!"
