An open letter to the USCIS

Dear USCIS,

I need to start this letter with an apology. I have said and thought things about you that were less than kind and charitable. The God who I follow commands kindness in all situations, so I am without excuse. 

I also need to beg your forgiveness for undoubtedly making your job more taxing. Since starting our adoption journey, we have made some really stupid rookie mistakes, including filing our I600 incorrectly. We are so sorry for the headaches that I'm sure we've caused. Three appeals and many thousands of dollars later, we have learned a lot. 

Right now, our third appeal to classify Nakafuuma Leticia as our immediate relative is on your desk, or more likely, your desktop. We have a team of brilliant, dedicated lawyers who have done a wonderful job undoing the damage done by our careless mistakes and pointing out why Leticia more than qualifies as our daughter. I can only imagine how many cases such as ours are in your queue. 

As you wade through the twenty-two page document that is our third appeal, there are some things that we want you to know. We don't have access to anyone at the USCIS, so our prayer is that this post finds the person who will be handling our appeal. 

First, we want you to know that there is no deception in our case. Although we were extremely naive as we stumbled into this adoption process, the blinders are off and we are now aware of the level of corruption involved with Ugandan adoptions. Mothers who are simply poor, but have a desire to parent their children are talked into giving them up by agencies who are looking for children for families instead of families for children. A dear friend has walked away from their adoption after discovering that the child they already loved had living relatives more than willing to care for her. It is heartbreaking that this happens, and we have learned that it happens often. Thank you for your vigilance in making sure that families stay together whenever possible and holding corrupt agencies accountable. 

Please know that this is not the case with Leticia. Her biological parents have been offered much help and resources to raise her. They have been offered sign language classes to learn to communicate with her, which they flatly refused. The judge berated them at length for parenting and caring for their hearing children and shunning Leticia. They were very clear. They do not wish to learn sign language. They don't want financial help to have her in their family. They don't want her at all, and seem quite baffled that we do. 

Leticia was left at a school for deaf children at the age of two. Normally, this school does not accept children of this age, but the director feared for this child's safety and well-being because of her abusive father. He believes that she has cursed him and has stated that he hates her, and she is a "kasiru" or "the stupid one." The biological mother has only been involved at the insistence of the school since leaving Leticia. They have never paid any school fees as they think it is a total waste to educate a deaf child. She has not been welcomed in their home. The few times that she did return to their home years ago when the school closed she was abused.

These people have willfully abandoned, deserted, and separated themselves from Leticia since they learned of her deafness. They do not want her. There is nothing anyone can say or do that will make them choose differently. I do not say this in judgement of them. Many Ugandans feel the same about children with disabilities. I say this so that you will understand that this child has no one in her country of birth that loves her, wishes to parent her, or appreciates the amazing little girl she is. 

We also want you to know how desperately we do want her and love her. Leticia is smart, strong, curious, brave, beautiful, and so full of potential. Her inability to hear or speak has not inhibited her ability to communicate. We have spent a great deal of time with Leticia in our four visits to Uganda. She understands that we love her and that we want her. On March 17, 2014 we were awarded Legal Guardianship of Leticia in a Ugandan court. She understands that on that day, she became Leticia Detrow. 

Please know that there is room in our hearts and our home and a place at our table for Leticia. She is our daughter. Her brothers pray every night that God would help their sister come home. Friends and family who are dying to finally meet her. We have resources in place to help her learn and grow and meet that potential. We see her deafness as different, not less. Leticia has a wonderful community of people here to welcome her home. 

Please keep in mind that there is a little girl in Uganda who doesn't understand why we aren't coming for her. I know you must be overwhelmed with cases such as ours, but please don't think of our daughter as a number, but a little girl who needs to be with her family. 

I don't know if you are a parent. If so, imagine being thousands of miles away from your child. Let yourself feel what it would be like knowing that your child could possibly be feeling that you are not coming for them because you have rejected them. I don't know if you can put yourself in that place. All I can say is that this mother's heart is broken and so heavily burdened with worry for Leticia that it is paralyzing at times. We have been advised not to visit because it would wreck her if we were to leave again without her. 

We are grateful for our Ugandan friends who are caring for Leticia during this time, but she needs to be with her family. We beg you to keep all of these things in mind as you review our appeal. God bless you. 

The Detrows

John, Kris, Stephen, Daniel and Leticia

#bringleticiahome